The Cryptid critter crawl
Fresno
Nightcrawler's pants
About Nightcrawler
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Transcription
Category Unknown
Legend Walking pants
Origins Fresno, CA, USA
Fun Fact Was deemed “unexplainable” by TV show “Fact or Faked”
Learn more about the Fresno Nightcrawlwer
Fresno Nightcrawler's Pants can be found in the side window of techPLAYground at SouthSide Works on Sidney Street, just down from Cinema Dr.
While there, explore the Cryptid Simulator and other interactive exhibits.
Fresno Nightcrawler's Pants- Audio Transcript
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HOST: Cryptid Critter Crawl presents, Fresno Nightcrawler’s Pants
HOST: New evidence of a cryptid at large has surfaced on Pittsburgh’s south side. We have found discarded pants almost resembling the shed skin of a snake. We suspect these to be the pants of a Fresno Nightcrawler. Leaving us to wonder, why does the Nightcrawler shed its pants? And what brings one so far from its native California home?
CORDUROY: Pants, yes pants are, uhhhhh, the eyebrows of the body If, well the body didn’t already have eyebrows that is.
HOST Explains Corderoy Jones, California pants man and notorious cyberbully.
CORDUROY: Pants are the most expressive of garments. Much like our eyebrows betray our inner truths, our pants, betray our outer truths. Our status. You see, the Nightcrawler sheds its pants in order to alter its status.
TAPERED JANE: SIlly. Silly silly silly silly silly silly. Pants betray nothing. They contain. Pants are not a tool of expression, they are a tool of fitting — Fitting in — Fitting into pants — And Fitting in... socially.
HOST: Refutes Dr. Tapered Jane Ph.D. MD. Well-recognized West Coast slack psychologist and also cyberbully.
TAPERED JANE: People want to fit in. In some way. In some capacity. In a social group. A group of friends. The Fresno Nightcrawler is desperate to find its fit. This is why it sheds pants. To changing its style. To posture. To pose. The Fresno Nightcrawler is… a poser.
CORDUROY: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Fittin in!?. Why would the Nightcrawler need to fit in? It’s a master of pants. A solo-bolo. Remember the 90s. Remember Jnkos? The baggiest of baggy jean pants? That was all Nightcrawler baybee. We all loved those sick sweet Jnkos.
TAPERED JANE: PEH. Peh peh peh peh peh. Jnkos? (hehe he he he he) yes they were super sick. But nevertheless. That Corderoy Jones is a poser too. Posers don’t know anything about anything. He might as well be called, Poseroy Jones.
CORDUROY: Pfff. Pffffff. I’m not a poster. I’m super cool. I’m a, uhhh, bucket of ice chips baybee, with a side cool ranch Toretoes. That’s how cool I am.
TAPERED JANE: Poser says what?
CORDUROY: What?
TAPERED JANE: Exactly.
CORDUROY: ooooohhhh, you…. Tapered Jane!
(Sounds of the two experts bickering continues)
HOST: Perhaps we’ll never truly know why The Fresno Nightcrawler sheds its pants. And we didn’t even get started on the topic of it leaving Fresno California, where such, passionate pants wear experts reside.
(Pants experts are heart arguing)
HOST: Or maybe it’s obvious why the Nightcrawler left.
JANE & CORDUROY AAAaahhhhh.
HOST: We all walk our paths looking to fit in. Expressing ourselves through our chosen style. . Shedding our unfashionable past and learning along the way. That willingness to change ourselves and accept others as they change, well, that’s where community grows.
Welcome, Pittsburgh Nightcrawler. Hopefully here, you’ll finally find your fit.